7 Things Moms of Kids With an Age Gap Are Sick of Hearing

7 Things Moms of Kids With an Age Gap Are Sick of Hearing On average, siblings are about 12 to 18 months apart from one aelendlageher in age. But thats not always the case, and thats okay.Sure, a wealth of research suggests that children who are closer in age exhibit less sibling rivalries, play well together and the family feels like a unit that grows together plus, young girls actually benefit intellectually from closer-spaced sibling age gaps.But there are tons of pros to spacing children out, as well. Think Parents have more quality time with their children in their young developing years, and older siblings can help raise and teach their younger siblings. Parents may have more time to juggle a career, as well, when theyre only raising one child at a time.Nonetheless, parents of children with a wide age gap are constantly fielding unsolicited concerns from strangers and relative alike. Here are seven of the rudest questions people ask parents of children with an age gap (and wha t you should never ask yourself).1. Are your kids from the same marriage?Parents of children with an age gap are often asked if their children are from the same marriage. This is, of course, is an uncalled for question and its perhaps even a touchy subject if the kids are not from the same marriage. Perhaps the first marriage ended poorly, for example. Or, if the children are young, and they dont understand the concept of step-siblings yet, parents may not want to raise their children as thinking of themselves as separate step-siblings tied to the negative connotation that too often associates it but, rather, as siblings like all other siblings.And theres also the possibility that the kids are, indeed, from the same marriage. And the age gap welches a choice.Either way, its no ones business to ask.2. Was the last one a mistake?Asking a parent if their youngest child welches a mistake is terribly inconsiderate. Maybe the pregnancy was unintended, but the outcome is all the same anot her member of the family that they love just the same. Equally, unintended pregnancies can be traumatizing for many mothers, and this is, therefore, an unacceptable probe.Or maybe, again, the last child was not a mistake, and the age gap was an intentional decision.3. Was the first one a mistake?For the same reason that asking if the last child was a mistake, asking if the first child was a mistake is not okay.4. Why are you starting over so late in the game?Many people ask parents of children with an age gap why theyre starting over, as if their first time around wasnt successful. This carries the connotation that their older children are failures in some way, which is offensive in and of itself. It also, again, strips parents of their authority to make a sound decision for themselves to purposefully have children spaced apart from one another.5. Arent you worried they wont be close?Sure, science says that when children grow up close in age together, they play well together. But th ere are all sorts of sibling relationships, and its up to families as units to cultivate close relationships. Some siblings who grow up close in age (even twins) show rivalry or even resent one another because theyre fighting for their parents attention. Meanwhile, some younger siblings that grow up apart from their older siblings cherish the nurturing relationship they have they have a someone to whom they can look up, respect and seek life advice at every stage.In short, all relationships are different age gap isnt the only determining factor in what makes siblings close or not. And asking about this is just short-sighted.6. Are your kids blood-related?Doubting if children are blood-related just because theres an age gap is an ignorant assumption. Beyond that, however, many choose not to consider blood relation a determining factor in how they define family. Many families have step-, half- and adopted siblings, but family is family.7. So the first kid didnt turn out okay?In the s ame way that asking parents why theyre starting over is unacceptable, asking them (even if its in a teasing manner) if their first kid didnt turn out okay is just plain ruthless. This suggests that theyve waited to see how their first child would end up and then theyve decided to give it another go because the first one didnt pan out quite as theyd anticipated or hoped. And that suggests that they dont love their first child. Which is a crude suggestion.--AnnaMarie Houlis is a feminist, a freelance journalist and an adventure aficionado with an affinity for impulsive solo travel. She spends her days writing about womens empowerment from around the world. You can follow her work on her blog, HerReport.org, and follow her journeys on Instagram her_report,Twitterherreport and Facebook.